Here is something that I wrote yesterday, a bit about me coming to understand what it means to be reconciled to God. I’ll post a bit more later:)
I was going to start this out by saying “Life in it’s self is so simple.”
I was going to go some where with that statement, but as I started thinking, something else came to my mind that I want to write about. I was going to sarcastically talk about how we all throw so much away to find someone else, to find someone to love us. And the ironic thing about that is that love is the only reason we are alive. God is love. God is life. It’s as simple as that. As I was having this thought process, my mind went another direction completely, and once the cogs in my head start turning, there’s no stopping them.
I don’t think what most people search for is love, but rather a reason to be loved. We are filled to the brim with conditions from a very young age. People give all kinds of things to believe they are loved, money, sex, talents. And yet, even when someone appreciates them for what they have done, it still doesn’t not satisfy that need, that longing to know but why am I loved? When they are done trying to get love with one thing, they simply move onto another. This is the paradox of love that has limits and conditions, once someone fulfills your conditions, your love becomes empty. If we love people only because we want something from them, because we know that they offer us what it is that they want, then our love will always fizzle out. Because our wants are also short-lived. They changed just as quickly as our opinions and emotions.
So here’s where God tripped me up. And my mind is still reeling as I write this. God is still filling me with understanding. Jesus is a pure representation of unconditional love. God made me; I am exactly as he desired me to be. Exactly. And I fulfill every want and desire of His simply be existing. But not by existing on my own, because I am sinful; God cannot be near sin. But He wanted me so badly, He wanted a relationship with me so badly, that Jesus experienced ALL OF MY PAIN, everything that I would ever feel that could keep me from God if I decided to sin as a reaction, and put it to death on the cross. THAT IS RECONCILIATION. Jesus redeemed every feeling I will ever have, and did not sin. All I have to do is allow Him to live in me. Jesus is my reason to be loved.
